The 5 Difficult Work Conversations Youve Been Avoiding - And How To Handle Them

The 5 Difficult Work Conversations Youve Been Avoiding - And How To Handle Them How To Have 5 Difficult Work Conversations That Youve Been AvoidingPosted March 8, 2017, by Zahra Campbell-Avenell Difficult work conversations we all dread them. Whether its giving a coworker constructive feedback, telling your boss youre resigning, saying no to a project or dealing with a workplace bully, its important to know how to approach these difficult and often awkward conversations at work with grace and poise. Here are a few tips on how to handle tough conversations effectively. We need to talk. Those 4 little words can send shivers down your spine. Nobody likes confrontation. Not at home, not at school, and especially not at work. Thats why we become experts at avoiding these painful conversations. We tell ourselves its not that bad, that were blowing things out of proportion and we end up putting them off. Wed rather suffer in silence than awkwardly work through a conflict with a coll eague or ask the boss for a well-deserved pay rise. But we avoid these conversations at our own peril. At some point in your career, youll need to have that talk. Youll need to quit, tell someone their work isnt up to scratch, or receive feedback that youre less-than-thrilled about. Sounds tough, right? Well thats because it is. Thats why weve made life easier for you. Here are 5 common workplace conversations (with example scripts) to navigate those awkward moments like a pro. 1. How To Tell Your Boss Youre Quitting Much like breaking up with a partner, this is a conversation where youll need to tell your employer that youre leaving them (and possibly also that youve found someone else.) Even if you cant wait to leave, its important not to burn any bridges and leave on a high note. Schedule a meeting with your manager or boss and when you sit down with them, remember to keep things neutral, professional, and wherever possible, positive. This is not the moment to complain about your current role (after all, your manager could be a future reference) or gloat about your new one (its not classy, and may cause unnecessary resentment.) Heres an example I want to let you know that Im resigning from my position. This was a difficult decision for me Ive really enjoyed working with the team and Ive learned a lot during my time here. However Ive received a job offer that will allow me to progress further in my career. As per my contract, I am providing X weeks of notice. Please let me know how I can help to ease the transition. 2. How To Have The Conversation About Negotiating Your Salary Going into a negotiation conversation is never fun. Whether its talking about your starting salary with a new employer or asking for a remuneration increase at your annual performance review, you need to be prepared to put a number on the table often one that is considerably higher than whats on offer. Rather than balking at the thought (and avoiding the situation entirely , which could leave you $600,000 poorer by the end of your career), heres how to approach the conversation For a new job Thank you so much for the offer Im really excited about the role and Im confident that Ill be able to contribute to the teams success. However, according to my research, the typical salary range for this position is around $X. Would you be able to match this figure? For your current job As you know, Ive been overperforming in my role over the past year, and my accomplishments have (made the company X amount of money/reduced turnover/reduced time spent on X tasks). I really love working here, and I would love to continue giving my best to the company. Can we explore whether Im being compensated accordingly? According to my research, the typical base salary for someone in my position is $X. If the prospect of asking for a raise still makes you queasy, use our science-backed tips to negotiate the salary you deserve. 3. How to Give Constructive Feedback Giving feedb ack is the best way to help someone recognise (and hopefully change) their behaviour. Whether you need to give feedback to a subordinate, a peer or even your manager, how you phrase it can make all the difference. Start off with asking them for permission, and then use the BIO model (Behaviour, Impact, Outcome) to keep things from getting personal. Its important to focus on the behaviour that you observed, rather than your perception of the persons intention or the outcome of the situation. Heres a sample script Sally, do you have a minute so I can share some quick feedback with you? In the meeting today, I noticed that you were checking Facebook (B). As a result, you appeared uninterested in the meeting, and it made me feel that you did not want to be there (I). I know the meeting went on for longer than expected, but it would be great if everyone agreed to leave our phones outside the meeting room, so we can all contribute to the discussion (O). What do you think? As in the exam ple above, its a good idea to use phrases like I noticed, It appeared and It made me feel which are hard to argue with, compared to something like Youre always looking at your phone during meetings thats just rude. After delivering the feedback, pause and listen to what the other person has to say, so its not a one-sided conversation. 4. How to Receive Negative Feedback Getting critiqued on your work can sting. But no matter how much it hurts to hear it, receiving constructive criticism will help you improve and develop professionally. When you receive feedback, start off by thanking the person for taking the time to share it with you, then try and understand the situation and your options moving forward. Heres a sample script Hi Vinh, thank you for your feedback about my presentation. I just wanted to clarify when you said that I seemed nervous, what did you mean by that? I really want to improve my presentation skills, and it would help me if you described what I did today that made me seem nervous, and what I could do differently. While its never fun to hear less-than-glowing feedback, it will help you to mature and grow as a person. If people see you as someone who welcomes feedback, they will be mora likely to share it. Better still, if you actively solicit feedback, youre going to be seen as someone who cares about improving, and you can use the insights to your advantage for your personal and professional development. 5. How to Say No To Your Boss Saying no to your boss is right up there on the fun-o-meter with filing your taxes and getting root canal therapy at the dentist. But sometimes you just have to say no to a task that your boss is asking you to do. There are lots of ways to say no (we found at least 49) but when you have to refuse something your boss has asked you to do, you have to phrase it in a way that is tactful and still makes you seem like youre a team player. Heres a sample script for what to say to your manager when you alread y have too much on your plate Thanks so much for thinking of me At the moment, Ive been working on the TPS reports as my top priority. I want to make sure that I give this my best, so could you please help me prioritise my current projects to figure out where this fits in? By telling your boss exactly where you stand with other projects, and asking them for advice, youre demonstrating that youre responsible, on top of your workload and good with time management. Having difficult conversations is never fun, but following the 5 tips above will help you stop avoiding them. Dealing with a difficult coworker? Heres how to handle many different types of toxic colleagues, including bullies, know-it-alls, gossips and backstabbers. ResourcesMy first resumeCover letter for my first jobCareer Insider StoriesShelley Lask - Body Positive Health & FitnessInterested in becoming a?Human Resources OfficerGeneral ManagerBusiness ManagerAccountantOffice AdministratorPopular Career Searchestime manage ment techniques at workeffective oral and written communication skillsattention to detail skillsdefine communication skills11 top tips for effective time management CoursesBachelor of Social WorkEnquire Online Enquire OnlineCertificate III in Health AdministrationEnquire Online Enquire OnlineBachelor of Criminal JusticeEnquire Online Enquire OnlineCertificate III in Allied Health AssistanceEnquire Online Enquire Online Zahra Campbell-AvenellZahra started writing at the age of 6, and hasnt stopped since. 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